Trans joy as resistance: Four types of happiness felt by trans and nonbinary people

Conversations about mental health for trans and nonbinary folks tend to focus on gender dysphoria. But instead of solely thinking about trans mental health from a lens of pain and struggle, it’s important to also look at what it means for trans folks to experience gender euphoria and to thrive in life.

In a society that attacks trans and nonbinary people for simply existing, experiencing happiness and joy as a trans or nonbinary person can be a way to reclaim power. There’s several distinct ways that happiness as a form of resistance can play out for trans and nonbinary folks:

1)    Authenticity

Authenticity can show up as feeling you can be yourself with your gender identity/expression and with your life in general. Experiencing authenticity helps you feel freer, and it can lead to greater feelings of pride in yourself. You being able to capture a sense of authenticity while living in a society that stereotypes trans and nonbinary folks as inauthentic, invalid, or faking it is a meaningful way to reclaim power. Imagine being able to stick it to the people who view you as fake by knowing deep in your bones that you are the real deal! Being able to know yourself so authentically and be compassionate towards yourself as a trans and nonbinary person flies in the face of what anti-trans hostility wants you to feel.

2)    Connection

Happiness through connection means having social support and a sense of belonging. There can be such a difference between when you feel thought of, included, and like you belong somewhere versus when you are being tolerated. These opportunities for community with people who embrace and celebrate you can be sought out online or in-person. It makes a big difference in your life to go from feeling alone and misunderstood to having people who love you for your whole self.

Connection might mean you build friendships with fellow trans or nonbinary folks. This can allow you to realize you are not alone in your questions of “Am I valid? Is this normal?” It also grants you the chance to see the rich diversity of trans experience and expression; that there is no one way to be trans or nonbinary.

 3)    Changes in perspective

In time you might be able to transform the pain you’ve felt in coming out as trans or nonbinary into something meaningful. Perhaps you end up finding greater happiness through the fact that you don’t fit society’s scripts on gender. You could also come to find out that through acknowledging your identity, your ability to empathize with other people has deepened.

Or maybe you find meaning and a perspective shift through advocacy. Advocacy could allow you to be the person you needed when you were initially coming out or questioning your gender. This could manifest as you being a visible trans or nonbinary adult to the kids or young people in your community. Or maybe you find meaning through participating in efforts to protect trans rights. Witnessing yourself shift and grow into a mindset of greater empathy and advocacy can result in greater happiness.

4)    Agency

While there continue to be ways that society robs trans and nonbinary folks from making their own choices, finding the spots where you can exercise choice is important to happiness. Making choices related to (re)claiming your gender identity can empower you to have more agency in your life. It can allow you to feel more in the driver’s seat of your life instead of living it for other people. What does it feel like to recognize that you don’t have to follow a specific gender narrative dictated by family, society, or the medical community? You can forge your own path.

This also shows up when it comes to making daily choices that focus on your happiness in general. Deciding to do simple self-care activities, such as listening to a podcast you like, mindfulness/embodiment, or eating food you enjoy, allows you to have moments of joy despite the anti-trans hostility that surrounds us. While these actions do not eradicate anti-trans hostility, taking time for simple moments of self-care, pleasure, trans embodiment, and joy show you that your happiness cannot be stolen.

Looking for resources to help cultivate more joy and happiness in your life as a trans or nonbinary person?

-Download the list of 8 Ways Being LGBTQ+ Makes Your Life Better.

-Check out The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese A. Singh

-Begin therapy. If you’re looking for a LGBTQ therapist who is specialized in supporting trans and nonbinary folks, please free to reach out to me, I’d love to support you.

This blog is informed by the following psychological research:

Tebbe, E. A., Bell, H. L., Cassidy, K., Lindner, S., Wilson, E., & Budge, S. (2022). “It’s loving yourself for you”: Happiness in trans and nonbinary adults. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000613

 If you would like a PDF of this research article, please feel free to reach out via email (jenna@drjennabrownfield.com) and I will gladly share it with you.