For trans and nonbinary folks, coping with transphobia is challenging. Even more challenging is dealing with transphobia from your parents or family. When you are subjected to transphobia, there is mental and emotional strain and stress that your cis peers don’t experience. This type of stress is referred to as minority stress.

You don’t have to be alone in managing the impact of having transphobic parents and family. Gender-affirming therapy or working with a trans-specialized therapist can help you cope with having transphobic parents. There are four ways therapy can be of support to you through this:

-Clarify the type of relationship you want with your family.

-Support you in building trans-affirming chosen family.

-Help you heal from trauma enacted by your transphobic family.

-Challenge any internalized transphobia you learned from your family.

Let’s look at each of these in more detail below.

Clarify what type of relationship you want

Talking with a therapist can help you sort through how you want to navigate family relationships. The can help you identify and prioritize your emotional needs in the relationships with your parents. Then they can help you set boundaries that honor those needs.

Build chosen family

A trans-affirming therapist can support you with building chosen family. They may be able to connect you with local or online trans community who get what it’s like having transphobic family members. Having trans-affirming friends in your life gives you support when leading up to or debriefing from time spent with transphobic family.

Heal from trauma

If you have transphobic family, you may have also experienced emotional, verbal, or physical trauma. A LGBTQ-specialized trauma therapist helps you heal from trauma enacted by your transphobic parents. They understand the nuances of what it means to be a trans trauma survivor.

Dismantle internalized transphobia

When subjected to transphobia from family members, their transphobic comments and beliefs sometimes get internalized in you. Therapy can help you address any internalized transphobia that stems from growing up with transphobic parents and family. The more you break free from the negative beliefs your parents hold about you being trans, the more trans joy you can experience.

You deserve to be supported and loved for who you are.

If you’re looking for a therapist who gets how stressful and painful it is to be around transphobic family members, reach out to me for a free consult. I am a trans-specialized bi/queer therapist in Minneapolis, MN. I provide online therapy for LGBTQ+ people located throughout Minnesota. You can have a life where you feel supported and secure in your trans identity. Let’s connect and nurture what your trans identity means to you. I’d love to support you.